Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?
You’re out shopping with your child, and they keep asking you to buy them toys or candy, and then they throw tantrums when you say “no.”
You’re at a restaurant, and your child is behaving like they’ve never been taught any table manners (though you know that’s not true). You give in and hand them your phone to distract them and keep them quiet.
You’re waiting in line at the register. You always seem to pick the slowest one. Your child is getting antsy and whiny. You know that a meltdown is minutes, if not seconds, away.
The kids are tired and bored, and your patience has reached its limit. We’ve all been there!
Understanding where your child is coming from in these moments is important. Waiting is hard, especially in these days of instant gratification. Today’s youth will never have to sit in front of a boombox for two days waiting for their favorite song to come on the radio so they can record it onto a cassette tape. If they want to listen to Baby Shark for the 100 millionth time, all they have to do is ask Siri or Alexa to play it for them. Boom. Done.
So, what do you do when you find yourself in a situation where your child may have to wait? Preparation is key!
Consider your timing. Try to avoid planning your outings close to a meal or nap time whenever possible. Children are far less patient when they’re tired or hungry. To be fair, the same goes for me.
Before entering a store or restaurant, set your expectations. Explain to your child what will happen, what type of behavior is appropriate, and whether there are specific rules they will need to follow.
Have a plan to help keep your child entertained.
Bring quiet toys so as not to disrupt people around you. Some great toys to keep on hand for these times are flashcards, books, a small Magna doodle board, paper and crayons, and puzzle cubes. Kids also love scavenger hunts. You can buy scavenger hunt cards or make your own list. When you go to the grocery store, ask your child to find something yellow, hard, sweet, bumpy, etc. It will keep them occupied and help fend off boredom.
If you do not have anything with you, you can always rely on tried and true favorites like “I Spy with my little eye…”. You can take turns thinking of as many rhyming words as possible. See if you can find ten items in the store that start with the letter “R.”
Most of these activities require your participation. It may feel like an extra chore while trying to get things done, but it’s worth it. You may even have a little fun yourself.
If all else fails- have an exit strategy. There will be times when the meltdown is inevitable despite your best efforts. Sometimes, a quick trip outside or to the car for a little break will help reset, and you can return to the task. Other times, you may have to cut your losses and bail. That’s okay, too.
With each experience, you will learn and adapt. Remember that the goal is progress, not perfection.
